Day 3

 

Dear Cora,
You have such a great personality, are so strong, and so full of life. I am starting to see the little girl that you are going to be. I love your spark and energy. You cannot sit still; always trying to figure out what is going on and taking control. You are so smart; learning English after only a few days. You are a perfect fit for our family and I am starting to see that you may soon be happy with us.

We got up early today so we had plenty of time to make it to our Civil Affairs appointment to finalize our adoption of Cora. It was very hard to wake Cora because she had such a bad nights sleep. I was very surprised when she woke up and decided that I was her mommy and Auntie Cheryl should not touch her anymore. It was great that Cheryl was able to comfort Cora, but I am so happy to be able to hold her.

It has been a long time since I have carried a child and tried to make a plate while keeping her hands out of everything. I feel like I have never done this before. I am so out of shape! Thank goodness for Auntie Cheryl. She helped make all of our plates, ran for new things for Cora to try, and still found the time to eat her breakfast. One thing that I can say is that with all that Cora has been through she really loves to eat.

Returning to the Civil Affairs office was a huge worry for me. I can tell that Cora is tolerating me because she knows she has no other choice. She watches everyone and every now and then she leans as if she hopes they will take her. She wants to be held but she wants to sit by herself. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I worry that as soon as we walk in the building that she is going to break down again. Amazingly she was very quiet but she does OK. I sign some more papers, take a pledge to care for her as if she was my own and give her all the rights of a child that was born to me, and take some pictures. Now it is official, Cora ShuYan is legally our daughter.

We already had our bags in the taxi so we could leave the Civil Affairs Office and go straight to the train station … we were on our way to Ningbo. My goodness, how I dislike train stations. I have never traveled by train in the US so I have nothing to compare them to. Going down steps with two suitcases and carrying a child to have to go up again just does not make since to me. Poor Cheryl, trying to take some of my luggage to help me and me having a hard time carrying a child and pulling my suitcases. Thank God that a young man took pity on us and helped with our bags. I am not sure if we would have ever made the train.

On the train to Ningbo we finally got to see some of the real Cora come through. She is almost always distracted by food. She seemed fairly content looking around and picking at the snacks we brought with us. She wants to eat trail mix, well at least the M&M’s out of them. She wants one after another and must do it by herself like a big girl. She ends up with most of it on the floor, her lap, and all over her seat. Many people are not real happy seeing this. There is an elderly man sitting behind us. He keeps playing with her. He speaks a little English and asks about Cora. He is the first Chinese person that tells us they are happy that we are adopting a Chinese child. He is very grateful that we are loving and caring for her. This child never stops moving and is getting hard to keep happy so I start picking her up over my head and dropping her towards my face. She starts laughing like crazy. This is the first time we have seen her smile much less laugh. I cannot get enough. We are now totally the center of attention but for the first time I do not care. This is the child the ayis at the orphanage described to us.

We are excited to finally be in the city that my daughter has spent her whole life. We are hoping to see her orphanage but we are starting the think it is a bad idea. Cora is having such a hard time adjusting to us. We will make that decision when we know if Enmei will even allow us to visit. We are very happy to finally be at The Crown Plaza City Center Ningbo Hotel; our home for the next few days.

 

 

Day 2 Gotcha Day!

Dear Cora,
This has been a day I have waited for so long and I am so glad it is here but it has been the hardest day that I (and probably you) have ever lived through. I am so sorry to have broken your heart when I took you from the only family that you have ever known but I hope it will heal and you will learn to love us as much as we love you.  I promise that we will love you unconditionally, forever, and  give you all that you will ever need for the rest of your life.

I woke up every hour worried that I was going to over sleep. Finally at 2:30 am China time we got up, ate, showered, and tried to keep busy until it was time to meet Emma. The hotel had a great buffet. It was like eating at a restaurant. People were there cooking as well as having prepared food. They had American and Chinese style food. We were not feeling very adventurous. After breakfast, Cheryl and I went for a walk around the hotel and took some pictures.

 When we arrived at the Civil Affairs Office we sat in a big room with a red banner across the back. We waited while Emma went to find out how the day was going to work. There was another family waiting for their daughter. I think they were from North Carolina. We traded stories about our adoption processes. I felt very rude because I was so distracted waiting and looking for Cora. We worked on our paperwork while we waited for our children. There were only 4 children to be adopted today. The family from North Carolina’s daughter came first. She was asleep when she arrived and stayed that way for the whole time they were in the Civil Affairs Office. It was so beautiful to see the parents get to look her over; her fingers, her face, her feet. She seemed so content. Then a little boy arrived but his parents were not here yet. He was adorable! He had very chubby cheeks and was happy watching what was going on in the office while his Ayis took care of his paperwork. Cora was the third child to arrive. At 10:20 Cora finally came through the door. She was so cute and very scared. They walked up tp me an just gave her to me. Tried to give he to me would be a better way to say it. She was not dealing with the fact that she was going to me and not staying with her Ayi. This was her favorite Ayi. She was in all of the pictures we got of Cora. You could tell by the look on Cora’s face that she knew what was happening.  Cora did not want me to touch her and would not come to me. The Ayi and director talked to Cora and showed her pictures of us in the photo album we sent. Cora knew our names and was saying that I was her mama but would not let me touch her. They offered Cora her favorite snacks to distract her so I could take her. Nothing worked. They spent quite a bit of time trying to coax her to me. Finally they told me I had to take her and just let her scream, and that she did at the top of her lungs. She screamed for her “mama” until we left. I have had two children and have lived through my share of temper tantrums but I have never seen anything like this. She arched her back, pushed away from me, pulled her hair. She was crying so much that she was getting over heated. He skin was blood red. She started to sound as if she was hyperventilating. I was asked to take her to a different room because she was so disrupting. I walked with her, bounced her, talked to her, and hummed… anything I could think of. Nothing worked. This was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever had to do. I loved her so much already and there was nothing I could do for her. If anyone walked by she would try to go with them. Total strangers; anyone was better than me. Cheryl came over to the room we were in to ask me about the gifts for the children because the Ayis were leaving and Cora even wanted to go to her. I was so scared when they finally said it was time to go because I never thought she would stop crying. She started calming down as we walked out of the building and instantly stopped crying when we went outside. She was so wide eyed watching everything!

We had to walk down the street to find a photo shop so we could take pictures of us (our first family photo) for the adoption certificate. Then a short walk to a taxi to find a market for needed items to care for Cora. Emma asked Cora what she wanted/ is used to eating. She asked for a bottle! The Ayis said she was still getting formula but I was surprised from a bottle at 5 years old. She asked for chocolate for being a big girl because they promised her I would buy it for her. ANYTHING to make her happy.

Cora was very scared in the car. Emma had to talk to her constantly to keep her from screaming. Simple questions like her favorite color, what she likes to do, toys she likes, etc.

As soon as we get to our hotel room she starts crying again. We put her on the bed with a lot of her toys trying to get her mind off of things. It worked for a little while. The I pod was her favorite; she was not much interested in the toys. The sucker was a good choice. Later we tried the bath just because we had run out of ideas and she loved it. She laughed and talked and sang and played and it was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I was so relieved that we found something that worked to make her happy.

Cora does not like the bed. We try to get her to play and copy what we are doing to get her to prepare for bed. She cried and screamed; finally I just let Cheryl take her because that is where she wanted to be. I needed her to be happy. I will worry about bonding later.  It is breaking my heart to hear her cry so much. She went to sleep finally. I hope things get better for her soon.